Save Me
by imfrozentrash
Summary: After a good three years into their relationship, Elsa's been busy lately and coming home late. As Hans facades his anxiety with false reassurance, it gets to the best of him and he has an episode. One that Elsa's been hoping to never see again. Prequel to "Full-Time Parent." Trigger Warning: Abuse and PTSD.


Prequel to "Full-Time Parent." Trigger Warning: Abuse and PTSD.

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys! This fanfic is a little different from my usual themes of romance and fluff. I've recently been into ASMR Roleplay (Any Cardigans reading this? 3) and I _really_ enjoy it. I've been listening to this one piece and it's inspired this fanfic to be made. Please be warned on the mature themes of abuse and PTSD. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Hans idles around the kitchen, scrolling through his phone. He glances up at the time and sighs again. But just as he shoves his phone into his pocket, the front door of the apartment bursts open. He sighs – relieved and upset – as Elsa steadies herself against the doorway, catching her breath. She coughs a little violently before standing up straight and offering an apologetic sigh with sad eyes. He smiles yet his gaze tells another story.

"Come on, the food's almost gone cold," Hans walks over to the dining table, expecting her to follow. He hears Elsa sigh sadly to herself followed by the soft _clank_ of her heels. Moments later, the two of them are found eating quietly across from each other. All that's heard are the slight frictions between the silverware and occasional setting down a glass on the table.

"Hans…"

"Elsa," Hans looks up with sad eyes and a smile. "You don't need to say it,"

"But this is the third week it's been –"

"And I keep telling you it's fine," Hans raises his voice over her. He silently curses under his breath when he sees that he made her upset. He takes his glass of wine and stands from his chair. He then walks over and takes the seat closest to her. Elsa looks down when Hans takes hold of her hand earnestly. A smile creeps onto her face as he kisses it sweetly.

"Look at me," Elsa slowly averts her gaze and sees her sincere boyfriend. "It's fine," he squeezes her hand a little tighter. "I know how much of an asshole your boss is and you can't help but stick to the deadline, right?" she sadly nods her head. "So, it's not your fault that you always come home late,"

"I just don't want you to be lonely all the time," she bites the bottom of her lip. "I want to be there for you when you need me most,"

"Hey, I have an ego too, you know?" Hans smirks, making her laugh. "I'll let you know if I ever need your help with my anxiety. But for now, focus on what you need to do. I'll take care of the rest,"

"But I know how hard it can get for you and I just don't –"

"Elsa," Hans stops her. "You've been one of, if not, the _best_ thing that's happened to me so far. It's been… What? Three years?"

"Has it?" he smiles when he sees her eyes light up in surprise. "It seems like it's been so much longer than that,"

"I know," Hans giggles. "And through these three years, I've learned a lot about myself. You've been able to take care of me, I think I'm able to do it just fine,"

"You sure?"

Hans looks down at her lips then up at her eyes. Elsa's cheeks heat up in embarrassment when he leans forward and plants his lips on hers. He lets go with a soft gasp and smiles.

"I'm sure,"

Elsa left the next morning feeling relieved about their talk at dinner. Hans, on the other hand, didn't start his day off too smoothly. He first rolled out of bed before Elsa woke up and walked into the bathroom. He flicked on the switch and what looked back at him was a man he didn't recognize. Hans feels the weight on his shoulders pushing him down – further down – until he could sink through the floor. But he slumps over the sink and just stares; same sideburns, jawline, and green eyes. But Hans couldn't recognize the man and he didn't even try.

After he made Elsa breakfast in bed, snuggled to butterfly kisses and reminded how much she meant to him, Hans shifted the second Elsa closed the door behind her. Now, Hans is found with his head in his hands over the counter.

 _What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Why do you do that_ so easily? _It's disgusting. She doesn't know because you can't fucking tell her the truth… Just love and trust her. She does that to you, doesn't she?_ Hans slowly lifts his head from his hands and stares frightened at the marble kitchen island. _Does she?_

* * *

"…but nonetheless, it's alright I suppose. At least I have a team that's dedicated to helping me when I'm stressed. I'm glad I have them to trust to get shit done around the office," she looks up and stops cutting through her chicken. Elsa's eyes soften when she sees Hans sit across from her; he's there but his mind is elsewhere. "Babe? You okay?" Hans stays quiet with his eyes locked on his plate. "Hans? Hans!" Elsa flinches a little bit when Hans jumps violently from her call, causing his drink to fall to its side.

"Shit," Hans curses and stands to get a rag from the sink. He sighs in annoyance as he absentmindedly cleans the mess he made.

"Hans?" Elsa softly asks, pushing her chair back to stand.

"I'm sorry, I think the cola got in the placemat," he explains. "I know these are your favorite and –" Hans picks it up from the table and sees the stain on the white cloth. "Damn it!" he yells and slams it on the table.

"Hans, it's fine!" she quickly walks over and gently touches his shoulder. "It's just a placemat, it's not a big deal okay?"

"Not a big deal?" Hans roars, shoving her hand off of him.

"Yeah, not a big deal!" Elsa shouts back, holding her hand from the sudden but quick pain. "It's a placemat, Hans. We can just replace it,"

"What?" Hans whispers, creating a distance between them. Elsa stands there flabbergasted when she sees Hans at a loss for words over a dinner table decoration. "Replace?"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about, Hans? What in the world have you been talking about lately? You know how long this has been going on? You're not making any sense!"

Suddenly, Hans' eyes narrow, dilate and grow dark. Elsa anxiously grabs the corner of the table behind her when she sees him march over.

"Hans, what are you doing?" She winces when Hans grips a hold of her wrist and jerks her towards him.

"If you really feel that way about me, then why didn't you just disown me?" Hans glares down at Elsa, gripping tighter. Elsa gasps but not from the pain; it was his stare.

"Hans?"

"I would've been better off on my own than with a damn family like you monsters," his eyes – the darkness of anger and shine of sadness from his tears at bay – she's seen it before. But only once. Elsa hoped she wouldn't have to witness this ever again.

"Hans. Hans baby, listen to me," she tries to pry his grip from her numbing wrist. Although she is terrified beyond her mind, she forces herself to keep her tone calm and reassuring. "Stay with me, okay? Can you hear me?"

Hans' head then jerks behind him, staring down the hallway. A breath of fear escapes his lips as his grip loosens from Elsa's wrist. She quickly rubs it, trying to shrug off the pain.

"No," Hans whimpers, taking steps back. He anxiously looks around the empty apartment and back to the hallway. "Please, I'm begging you! Stay away!"

"Baby, listen to me okay? There's no one there, it's just me,"

Hans' breathing speeds up as he keeps backing away from the hallway. Elsa covers her scream when she sees him cry out when he slams his lower back in the corner of the dining table and falls on the tile floor in pain.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," Elsa kneels on the ground and gently rubs his arm.

"No!" Hans screams, scattering around the floor trying to get away.

"Hans love, it's me. Don't you recognize me?" Elsa calmly explains through tears.

"Get away, damn it! Please don't hurt me!"

"No, baby! I'd never do that," she wraps her arms around him when he starts to shake violently. Hans wails out in pain like he was just stabbed in the side and Elsa grips tighter while rubbing circles on his back. "Stay with me, okay? Listen to the sound of my voice. You're not… You're not with them anymore. You're here with me, Elsa; your girlfriend. We're in your apartment, love. It's baked chicken night; you prepared our dinner. It's just the two of us," she explains over his cries. Elsa coos him with gentle hushing sounds and caresses. "I'm here, love. I'm not going anywhere, I promise okay?" she sniffles. _Oh my god, Hans... What did they do to you?_

"Why do you guys hate me so much? I never understood why…" Hans cries. At least his shaking has subsided.

"Please come back, Hans. Please come back…" Elsa lets go and softly but firmly holds onto his shoulders. She looks into his eyes as he absently stares back. "Sweetheart, listen to me alright? They're not here anymore; they can't hurt you. Your father's gone and your brothers are oceans away. I'm here now," Elsa sobs as she gently caresses the side of his face.

"What did I do wrong…? What did I do wrong…? What did I do wrong…?" Hans grips his eyes shut, shaking his head.

"You did _nothing_ wrong, Hans. I promise. Okay," Elsa sniffles, taking his hands in hers. "I know you're terrified right now, but I need you to open your eyes for me, love. Look around the room and tell me what you see, okay?" Hans slowly blinks his eyes open and glances around the living room from the floor. "Good," Elsa sighs happily with a smile. "Good, Hans. Tell me what you see,"

"Um…" he mumbles as his eyes wander. "That," Elsa follows his gaze and turns towards the kitchen.

"Okay, good. What is it?"

"A blue cup,"

"That's right. That's right, Hans!" Elsa sniffles, quickly wiping her tears away. "Alright, um… What else do you see blue?" Hans lists off her sandals near the doorway, carpet in the middle of the room, and socks inside a pair of tennis shoes. "You're doing so well, love. You're doing great; you're coming back to me," she caresses the side of his cheek again in relief. "Now, what do you feel?"

Hans looks around the room again. "The floor," he ripples his fingers on the tile below him, creating a wave of tapping. "My sandal," Hans looks down at his cozy slipper that wraps snug around his foot. "And…"

"What else, baby? Do you feel anything else around you?" Elsa doesn't hold back the tears streaming down her face when Hans lifts his hand to the side of his face, softly rubbing against the back of her hand. His index finger traces incoherent scribbles on the surface of her fingers and back of her palm. She finally loses it and looks down at her lap, crying to herself as the tears stain her shorts.

"Elsa?" she gasps and quickly snaps her head up. She stares in awe when the darkness subsides from his eyes. "Elsa?"

"Hey," she sniffles. "Hans… Hi. Hey, you're back," she chuckles through her tears. "Welcome back, sweetheart. Welcome back, hello," Elsa smiles. "Can you look at me? Right here, Hans. Look here," Hans steadily locks his gaze with her, showing his beautiful green orbs in a vulnerable and confused state. "Oh, it's so good to have you back,"

"Where did I go?" he stutters.

"Nowhere, baby. You were here… You're _always_ here with me, okay? Don't forget that, alright?"

"You're crying…"

Elsa sniffles again and wipes them away. "It's alright, I promise. Everything is going to be alright,"

"What happened?"

"Well," she easily slides her hands into his. "You had a flashback, love. It got intense but I think I may have said something to trigger you back to your childhood. You thought that..." she swallows the lump in her throat, trying to find the right words. "You thought that your father was here… and your brothers," Hans quickly looks over his shoulders, then anxiously down the hallway. "Hey… Baby? Stay with me, okay? Look at me… Please, Hans. Don't leave me again… Look into my eyes," she gently guides his chin and they lock gazes. Her heart breaks when Hans begins to cry. "It's alright. Don't worry, he's not here. I promise you, he's not here. No one is; it's just the two of us, love, okay?"

"Just us?"

"That's right, just the two of us," Elsa nods happily. Hans' movements are subtle and slow; almost with caution. She can't possibly imagine what truly happened to Hans and, frankly, she doesn't want to. Right now, what matters is that Hans is safe and calm. Moments later after sitting in each other's silence, Hans looks over at Elsa. She sighs happily, tilts her head to the side, and smiles sadly.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Hans says. To her surprise, she forgot about dinner. She glances over and sees the room temperature and unfinished chicken on the table.

"That's okay," Elsa reassures. "We can eat again later,"

"I'm also tired," she just now notices the dark circles under his eyes and his improper posture. "Can we go to bed?"

"Of course," Elsa slowly stands as she helps Hans to his feet. They walk together into their shared bedroom.

"Elsa?"

"Hm?" she looks over and sees him sitting on the edge of the bed. He holds out for her hand. She smiles softly and walks over after throwing on her nightshirt. "I need to tell you something,"

"Of course, Hans. Anything,"

Hans clears his throat and intertwines his fingers with hers. "I can't even think of where to begin but… _Thank you,"_

"Aw, Hans. It's really no trouble,"

"No, it is. Um… I haven't been honest with you lately and I know that I should have. I know what I said a few weeks ago and I was _completely_ wrong, Elsa. I _need_ you – I _always_ need you. Tonight, made me realize that I can't do this alone. I'm sorry for being selfish… I wasn't recognizing all the hard work you've been doing for us. Not a day goes by where I don't appreciate and love you, okay?" Hans smiles gently and wipes away Elsa's tears. "Aw, sweetheart. Don't cry,"

"I'm sorry for not being there for you,"

"Hey, don't say that. That's not true at all,"

"I can't help but think that – with what happened tonight – I could have handled it so much better,"

"That's not true, Elsa. You were such a great help," he leans in and plants a kiss on top of her forehead. "And you know what? Since we're both off, why don't we talk more about it tomorrow?"

"Really? You don't mind?"

Hans shakes his head. "Not anymore. I want to go through this with you. Let's just sit down and… think about a list of things to do if this ever happens again?"

"I'd like that a lot," Elsa smiles, nodding in agreement.

"I'm also willing to schedule an appointment with a therapist," he blushes. "B-But… Is it alright if you attend some sessions with me?"

"Seriously?" she beams in happiness and relief. "Babe, where is all of this coming from?"

Hans wraps his big protective arms around and pulls her close. He delicately kisses her, afraid that she may shatter into a million pieces. "Because..." he sighs, pulling back. "it's because of you,"

"Me?" she blushes.

Hans nods. "You've saved me, Elsa. Thank you,"

* * *

Thank you so much for reading through the entire piece. I know that this is different but recently I've been wanting to do more with my creative writing. Long story short, I want to be able to entertain you guys while also having some kind of moral tied to it. It's strange to think this way about fanfiction… But, considering that most of my audience are young teenagers, I thought it would benefit them in some way by bringing to light on these kinds of topics.

I am in no way a medical professional who's proficient in handling these situations truly effectively. **But I thought Elsa's comfort and best efforts along with Hans' self-reflection and striving to make progress with his PTSD and anxiety was what I truly wanted to get across.**

This is a little bit of a shift, but no worries! I'll still happily write erotic, romance, and cute fanfics. But I hope you'll understand that I wish to continue to produce these kinds of pieces. Thank you for all of your support!


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